CIRCUS STARS

If i knew then what i should know now,
I wouldn't change a single second.
In this Circus of stars only clowns know how,
Fake smiles and promises turns our upside down.

BCause the clowns are the main attraction,
In the business we call show.
And their many captives surround them,
And cheer on as they choke.

Some are addicted to honeymoons,
sex and a drug called love.
A Spectator sport for some of us,
clinging to your false hope.
That the act was real,
And your words held some meaning,
To those in your front row.

Justified collateral damage,
Line the streets to your home.
The hearts and corpses you left behind,
Will burn your big top down.


Copyright (c) Robyn Whittaker. (c) 29,08,08.

HEAVEN'S HELL

I'm a star trash queen, get a load of me.
I may not be your beauty queen,
no sorry's needed here.

For I'm me , transcendental incarnate .
Transmogrified as if by magic.
You know what you want to be,

just live it and love it.
Life's too short to take the in between,

man/woman, does it really matter which road you take.
Just live it and love it and be proud.
There's lessons to learn, learn them well.

It's a trial and the jury's out,
for girls like me it's heavens hell.
You've gotta fight to say it's right,
To live and let live , no regrets here.


Copyright (c) Robyn Whittaker 2.9.05

UNIVERSAL AGE

OLD AGE IS THE PRACTICAL JOKE,
THE UNIVERSE PLAYS ON YOU,
JUST WHEN YOUR GETTING USED TO BEING YOUNG.
THOSE 10 YEARS OF PERFECT UNCHANGED BEAUTY,
THE LIGHT THAT EMITS FROM WITHIN US, IS SECOND TO NONE.

GUIDED BY THE CARROT OF PROMISE WE ARE CHALLENGED TO BELIEVE,
THAT THIS VISION OF LOVLINESS WILL GO ON AND ON.
PUSHED TO GAIN MOMENTARY GREATNESS,
THE YOUNG SO BLISSFULLY ARE UNAWARE,
THAT IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE ,
ALL AUTHENTIC YOUTHFULL VESTAGES ,
SOON WILL ALL BE GONE.

ALLTHOUGH THERE IS AN ECHOING OF GREATNESS ONCE PERFORMED,
THE TRUTH OF WHICH LIES JUST UNDER THE SKIN,
SOULFULL CHILDREN PLAY ON AND ON,
THE OLD SKIN MOURNS IT'S YOUNG.

Copyright (c) Robyn Whittaker. 30/7/07.

My Fathers Inner Child

FROM ONCE A SWEET LITTLE BOY YOU GREW,
TO BE A MAN WITH CHILDREN OF YOUR OWN.

EACH CHILD HOLDS YOU DEAR IN THIER OWN LIGHT .

BUT BE ASSURED I CAN STILL SEE THE SWEET LITTLE BOY YOU ONCE WERE,
AND APPRECIATE THE WONDERFULL FATHER YOU GREW TO BE.

I LOVE YOU DAD AND ALWAYS WILL.
HAPPY BITHDAY DAD.




(c) Robyn Whittaker. 2006. ( Written on a birthday card to my dad 2 years before he died.) And Happy Fathers Day.

CARO MIO!

Like traveling through time,
Caro Mio takes me back,
Flawless design captures our yesterday.

Ladies who lunch,
Sip sweetly Champagne while laughing at their play.
Maturity in years does not fade the little girls in hearts remembering better days.
This place keeps them young,
Keeps them running in the playground of their minds.
Waitress in black and white brings what is desired.
Youth is not on the menu today,
But is no longer needed or wanted,
After gifts of wisdom in years have been received.

Lights suspended in ornate splendor,
Fixed to ceiling of white pressed ornamental delight.
No time machine needed here,
Soft music filters the air just audible to ear,
Almost as if slipping through a crack in time.
A bakelite wireless softly playing Alma’s Tune,
Listen, Listen, to sweet melody.
Pray that those from yesterday don’t turn it off just yet.
Big bands in the sky recall the fun they had.
Art deco grand delight, my dear, my dear,
Please keep us here.
Caro Mio in time, Caro Mio in love, forever.

Copyright © Robyn Whittaker. 28/08/08, 12pm.

MIRROR OF LIFE

IN OUR LIVES WE ENCOUNTER MANY THINGS.

ONE OF THEM IS HOPE, HOPE IN A FUTURE FILLED WITH MANY EXPERIENCES AND PEOPLE, PLACES AND OBJECTS THAT WILL MOVE US TO GREATER LEVELS OF UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT LIES BENEATH AND COVERS THE SKY. WHAT DRIVES US TO GO ON FORWARDS INTO THE UNKNOWN WE CALL THE FUTURE.

EACH AND EVERY ONE OF US IS BLESSED WITH THE FORTUNE OF EXPERIENCE, AND GOOD OR BAD WE FACE MANY OBSTICLES. MIRRORS THAT WE MUST LOOK INTO AND FACE, OUR GREATEST FEAR… OURSELVES.

CELEBRATED AND TORN APART BY THE VERY LIKES OF OURSELVES, THE BEAUTY LIES IN KNOWING WHERE AND WHO YOU ARE, DECIFERING CLUES FOREVER BESTOWED UPON US. FINNALY REALIZING THAT UNTIL WE EMBRACE AND CHERRISH OURSELVES AND FACE AND SURRENDER TO THE LESSONS THAT THE ONES WE DRAW TO OURSELVES BRING, WE SHALL NOT BE RELEASED FROM THE REOCCURING DREAM OR NIGHTMARE THAT IS LIFE.

Copyright © Robyn Whittaker 11.6.06.

LAYING WIDE AWAKE.

SEXY MAN AMERICAN,
TALL BRINDLE SMILING TAKING BREATH.
CONVELESING FRIEND WITH CRED,
NIGHTINGGALE OF NIGHTSWEATS.
HEATED BOTTLE WARMS YOUR BED.

SUCKING SWEETLY PAIN AWAY,
STROKING YOUR GENTLE HEAD.
BRAIN STORMING WHILE YOU LAY,
SHARING MOMENTS OF JOY,
UNFETTED SLEEPLESS NIGHTS LYING WIDE AWAKE.
LIFTING NURSEY SKIRTS,
HAIR FROM FACE PULLED AWAY.
WHILE DOCTORS MISSING AT PLAY,
CLIMBING UP ON TOP.
HEALING HANDS MASSAGING CANS,
NO MILK TO BE FOUND TODAY.

UNIVERSAL LIGHT IGNITES,
HEALING THE UNSEEN WOUNDS.
CURE FOUND IN LAUGHTERS CALL,
GIFT FOR FORTUNES TOLD,
AND RECOVER HIM FROM HIS FALL.

Copyright © Robyn Whittaker. 1/8/08 9.48pm.

INAUDABLE TRUTHS (Poem for Keith)

Do forgive yourself a life of pleasure,
Amusing monkey mouth.
Goddesses three sensing your glee,
Wise angel guides from the south.

Hearing whispers soft inaudible truths,
Beckoning pens to write.

Open, discovery turns on light,
Listen full with care.
Understanding all that they say,
Keys 2 the doorway.
Window missing its latch,
Messengers stand as they pray.

Fulfill yourself with purpose,
Answer their final call.
Bring forth your inner understanding,
Glowing and walking tall.

When sky dust has lost its glitter,
Hot orb ceases to burn.
Your place will be set in history,
Hearts mend where once they were torn.

Copyright (c) Robyn Whittaker 2008.

Suicide prevention and the Transgender cause.

In 1993 a study was done at the University of Sydney into suicide and its causes in amongst the L.G.B.T.I. community at large and it was found that at that stage the Transgender community suicide rates were as high as 43%, an unacceptable figure in any ones standards. Since then, thankfully the percentage rates have dropped to 6%, due solely to a burgeoning support base during the 1990’s. Infrastructure in the form of information services and support groups were born to supply those in need with the appropriate help and resources required. One of those community support groups is ATSAQ (Australian Transgender support Association of Queensland inc.atsaq.com, 07 38435024.), run by Gina Mather and Krissy Johnson in Queensland and the formation of the Brisbane Gender Clinic, which opened its doors on the 7/12/1994 to supply quality health care for those identifying as Transgender and intersex. (Appointments-Wed 1.30pm-5pm 3837 5645, 3837 5611 all other times)

After many years being excluded from anti discrimination law reform, the Transgender community were finally recognized and gender identity was included to the anti discrimination act on March 31st 2003. Though these factors have minimized suicide rates significantly, more needs to be done to reduce those figures to zero. One death is one too many in my opinion and everything must be done to reach this goal of Transgender survival facilitated through education and support for those in need. Recently the LGBT youth service, Open Doors received a $100.000 grant from the Queensland Government to run a program aimed at reducing the exceptionally high youth suicide rates amongst LGBT youth in Queensland. This funding began in mid August and will focus on the regional areas of Queensland and will work towards supporting those feeling alienated and ostracized by the difficulties of coming to terms with their identities in less tolerant parts of Queensland. This is a great step forward in preventing these unnecessary losses to our community and will help to create a future of limited suicide cases amongst the LGBT populace, experiencing hopelessness in the face of continuing ignorance and intolerance amongst the wider community.

I have been Transgender for 19yrs now and have experienced the mental and emotional pit falls of this condition and know fully the lows one can experience while living this gender disphoric life. After my own two suicide attempts, it is clear to me that looking and sounding feminine is no savior to a life that sometimes can only be described as an inner journey of lonely singularity. Luckily for me my support base in the form of family, friends and the Transgender community support infrastructure, has saved me from becoming another statistic. More needs to be done for those still left wanting and in need of the basic human requirements of inclusion and respect. There is so much hope for the future, thanks mainly to the many giving and selfless service providers willing to fight for a future that embraces diversity, which ultimately will reduce the numbers of Transgender people seeing suicide as the only escape from a world they feel alienated and abandoned from.

Written By Robyn Whittaker © 2008.
(Reference information thanks to ATSAQ and Open Doors.)

Nightmare/Dream 09/08/08

This is the dream I experienced in the waking hours of the 9th august 2008. I think that it was maybe the opening ceremony of the Olympic Games last night that could have triggered this dream. The difference was that this event in my dream happened on our own shores. I will say that some details even though I have gotten up as quickly as I could to capture it, have already left me; this is as I remember it. I was in Australia at a place by the sea, it was quite a large place but it was not Sydney, I guess it was really more of a nightmare. I was with my mother at this opening day fair at some sort of stadium and then I left her with her friends, I then went to a friends unit with an obscured view of the sea. It seemed to be three buildings back from the sea and from his front window we could just glimpse the ocean through the gaps between two buildings side by side in front of his unit. They were all gay guys from what I could tell, and very cute. One guy was at one point walking around the unit naked and it was a turn on to say the least. Anyway I think we were all three of us watching this ceremony on TV and it was so exciting and made me feel very proud to be Australian. The streets and parks were filled with happy children and parents, the children were playing in a park on swings, and everyone was in a festive mood that could almost be tangibly touched. Strangely enough I seemed to have an aerial view of this occasion but was in a unit watching a TV screen but not seeing it from that perspective, more like I was flying around in the air without the aid of a helicopter or plane, it was a dream so I guess it sort of made sense at the time. I will never forget how real it felt to watch these proceedings completely helpless knowing that it may be my last moment alive. Toward the end of the festivities a jolting, rumbling, almost sonic boom was felt by all of us in the unit. I felt my heart skip a beat when I realized it was not anything like the bang of the fireworks going off. We saw on the TV that people were screaming and running away from the sea. The ocean was rising up in the same way a tsunami does, and a massive set of waves came toward the shore where thousands of people had been relaxing and enjoying this lovely day.
Suddenly all of us in the unit looked through this window that could see the ocean, and to my horror I saw a wall of water coming straight for the unit complex. The wave was just seconds from engulfing us and I was amazingly still wondering like a fool whether or not it was a part of this opening ceremony.

In a split second later the reality kicked in as the killer wave reached our building, and just before it engulfed us I started to panic and said “Oh my God what’s happening?” The guys were panicked but sat on what seemed like a bed from what I can remember, and we all huddled together and at that moment the wave hit the building. I realized that I might die at this moment and it was a deeply shocking realization, at that moment I said “I think we are going to die” I thought of my mother in that pavilion with her friends and how I may never see her again, it was an awful feeling and I will never forget it. As we were being engulfed by this wave, it sounded like we were in a tunnel but the roar was somewhat dulled. It was obviously a dream, because even though some water came through the window we had been looking through, none of us were harmed after the wave had passed. The successive waves eventually petered out eventually and the building was left standing. I was amazed to be still alive and we all were shaken but relieved it was over. As we directed our gaze back to the TV, the true tragedy and devastation was all too apparent. Thousands had been killed and many more were lost at sea and chaos prevailed. The shock was starting to set in and all I could think was where my mother was and how could I find her. Sheer Terror is the only way I can describe the feeling when it occurred to me that I may never see her again. I rang her number but no answer and tried to think of a way to get to her. My eyes kept going back to the TV as now news programs were all frantically trying to get the story out to the masses. They were reporting many deaths and were investigating whether it was a natural or man made disaster, which I thought was odd. I rang as many people I knew to see if they were ok but strangely not Gus. Maybe because he was out of town and I may have just known he was safe, but then I would have thought I would have wanted to speak with him. I went outside and the place was deserted, with the odd person here and there crying, wet and looking lost. All of a sudden my mother turned up in front of me and I was extremely excited and elated, amazed she was there standing in front of me alive and well. I hugged her and cried and thanked the universe for bringing her back to me.
Eventually Gus called and he was very happy to hear my voice and that I was ok and not hurt. Then all of a sudden I was sitting out watching what looked like a park out on a bed on a balcony or verandah, I think mum was there for a bit and I was crying recounting my story and then just in a flash she was gone and I was alone watching a very different scene.

A man was climbing some wall and he seemed almost robotic as he scaled it, looking straight ahead. As this man climbed, the wall changed and though it was still a smallish partition, it seemed to be made from something more natural. Another of these similar looking soldiers (slightly medieval looking) climbed this wall and he seemed to be fashioning it into something else until it became a tree. It was beautiful to watch but a bit scary as well. There was like a line of these walls and soldiers that turned their walls into trees and this happened in front of me 40 meters into the distance and they each were separated by about 2 or 3 meters of grass between each tree wall. It was beautiful to watch to say the least, a bit like the time laps beauty of the movie Time Machine. The park and the surrounding buildings seemed to transform into a field before my eyes. The men appeared to be morphing completely into what they would have looked like if they were back in the days of Robin Hood; maybe earthly saviors come to help us bring our earth back to a more natural state. The Nightmare/Dream ended.

Copyright © Robyn Whittaker 2008.

Mommie Dearest at Caro Mio.

Imagine stepping back in time to the 1930s. A world of high teas, fine china, jazz, cabaret and old world charm. Well at Caro Mio this world is alive and well. Proprietor, Luke Quadrelli, has created quite a stir in the heart of Woolloongabba's revamped and burgeoning retail and dining strip, allowing people to experience dining as they were in days gone by.
By day Caro Mio is cafe style – soups, lasagne, cakes and an array of teas and coffees from around the world but by night the intimate surroundings and fine food make this cafe the perfect place to bring your special someone for a romantic night.
Caro Mio first opened its doors three years ago and has cemented its spot amongst Brisbane’s finest cafes. Luke believes that the reason Caro Mio has been able to establish its self so well has been not just because of the beautiful surroundings and food but the extra qualities such as the entertainment and staff.
“We have slowly but surely expanded. I think the reason behind out success has been finding the right performers and the right staff. It has allowed us to mature and grow.”
Every Friday night, diners are treated to the swinging sounds of local Jazz musicians while they enjoy their meal and a bottle of wine. Luke has just opened a new basement for entertainment and has plans to open a bar downstairs.
Memories of yesteryear are the passion behind Caro Mio and one of Luke’s biggest passions is classic cinema. Every second Saturday, Movies from the golden age of film are shown on the big screen with a wide selection of films on display, ranging from tear jerkers to the fabulous and camp.
A special screening of the iconic camp classic ‘Mommy Dearest is coming up on 23 August and is sure to pack the house. The night will cost $40 per head and includes a three course meal, movie and popcorn – but no wire hangers!
After all the entertainment of the weekend, what better is there to relax than by enjoying high tea with friends? Immerse yourself in the ambience of the silver service treatment: sit back, be pampered and delight in the mouth watering three- tiered-stand of various delicious finger sandwiches and delectable scones and pikelets and dainty petit fours served with premium teas. An afternoon fit for a queen.
In addition to the cafe, Luke also provides customers with clairvoyance readings. Luke is a renowned clairvoyant and has been reading in Brisbane, Sydney and Melbourne since 1988 and specialises in clairvoyance with Tarot, Photo and Aura readings. His aim for the Café is to create a space where people will find comfort and insight in a relaxing atmosphere.
For a full list of upcoming movies and events visit http://www.caromiocafe.com/
Caro Mio. 598 Stanley St, Woolloongabba Qld.

(This is the Article that appears in the latest issue of Q News, go here for more http://www.qnews.com.au/home )

SUCKUBUS

SAY GOODBYE TO ALL THOSE DREAMS,
SAY ALL YOUR PRAYERS TONIGHT.
SAY THAT YOUR HAPPY AND SAY THAT IT'S TRUE,
SAYING YOU WON'T GIVE UP THE FIGHT.
WHEN IT'S GONE IT'S GONE FOR GOOD,
CAN YOU TELL WHEN IT WENT AWAY.
TWISTING, TURNING YOU TORTURE THE FAITH,
AND THERE'S NO PRAYERS LEFT WORTHY TO PRAY.
YOUR GAMES FCUK MINDS AND FCUK WEAKENED HEARTS,
THE HARD BLOODS RUSHING IN VAINS.

WHEN SUCKUBUS FEEDS ON SPIRIT FILLED PREY,
ALL THAT IS LEFT IS SOUL STAIN.
CURSE YOU VILE ENERGY PARASITE,
CURSE YOU TILL END OF YOUR DAY.

GO DWELL IN PLACES FAR FROM HERE,
BURNING IN HELL'S WHERE YOU'LL STAY.

(c) Copyright. (C) Robyn Whittaker. ( A reworked poem from 2007)

NIGHTMARE

A dream came to my bed last night; it spoke of times foreboding, of prince that turned to monstrous man. And the earth fractured soul began imploding; the house became a trap for them. New personality lost in disguise, left in its place, the sweet servants ears worked out his lies. Helpless chased and abandoned, onlookers are running to hell. New suitor throws Queen from high window, onlooker informs me of fall.
Rush to witness my life giver reduced to only a crawl. Anger swells up within side me; avenge the attack from side door. Everything in time fractures not acting in its place. Flood waters fill cities, past unite with futures and nothing seems the same. Rift makes tear in continuities main frame. Gail force winds begin in reverse to commence this nightmare. Mobile call connector no longer makes the call. His eyes of evil anger, picks at my weakened soul. No longer seeing the princess, unsure who sits in place, to his eyes I’m suddenly different. A vision of lost disgrace, running from palace, heart screaming for 3 zeros of help. Escape is not an option to run like fleeting pray. The queens remaining daughters seek refuge and safer days. Clinging to bus load of strangers, weight causes glass ceiling to break. Suction pulls victims to wet and muddy grave, their terror causes two eyes to wake.

Copyright (c) Robyn Whittaker 2008.

(This was a nightmare the night after a traumatic last new years eve.)

Safe Harbour

LIKE STARS COLLIDING ON PASSIONS COURSE,
OUR EYES FILL THE ROOM AND ALL IS WELL WITH THE WORLD.
TALL AS OAK WITH SOUL GENTLE,SINCERE, SOMEWHERE TO MELT.
I HOPE IT IS YOU I SEEK.
NO CRUELER BLOW IF YOU LEAVE, COULD BE DEALT.

RELAXED IN THIS COMPANY, CONVERSATION EASILY FLOWS,
I FEEL SAFE HARBOUR ONCE MORE IN THE ARMS OF A PERFECT STRANGER.

DAYS NOW EARLY, WITH MUCH HOPE I WISH FOR LOVE TO GROW.
YOUNGER IN YEARS THAN I BUT WITH SOUL AGED TO MATCH,
I FEEL SAFETY IN YOUR KEEP AND SENSE THAT IT'S NOT OUR FIRST TIME TO MEET.

TO SHARE LIFE WITH SOMEONE, NO GREATER GIFT WE CHOOSE,

SOULS SHARED EXPERIENCE, COMPANIONS TRAVELING LIFE'S STREET.
IF NOTHING COMES OF THIS , KNOW YOU GAVE JOY.
FOR MOMENTS IN TIME, MY WORLD CAME TO BE,
SPARKLING LIKE SPINNING WHEEL, MESMERISING ENCHANTING TOY.

Copyright (c) Robyn Whittaker 17/08/08

CAMP MOMMIE DEAREST VOICE OVER.