Wednesday, February 17, 2016

EULOGY FOR TERRY BOURKE (Pinaroo Crematorium Chapel, 18/2/2016 at 2.pm)

My dear friend and neighbor Terry James Bourke, you will not be forgotten. Your love of a bygone era was music to my soul and took me back to a past life that only kindred spirits understand... Thank you for reminding me of a time when life seemed more carefree and simpler, a time when music had a story that took you to a better place even if it was song about the blues...You loved the 20's and 30's and 40's, the past in general and you were an old soul who yearned for another era.. How I loved your retro art deco bygone era home....it was like stepping into another time...I always felt that you were an old soul and I thought of the 1920's and 30's when I was around you. You had that old fashioned way about you, refined and well spoken. You were a gentlemen who I could easily picture in a stetson hat and a pin striped suit, opening the car door for me before we drove off to some speak easy bar selling sly grog with jazz playing in the background. This was your era and I am sure it resonated with you from a past life..

Terry Bourke you were a beautiful but troubled soul who has left us too soon. I know you wanted to stay but you were called to go to that other place where peace awaits. A place far away from your troubles and pain..I know life was starting to get tough again and I just know your in a better place looking down on us all saying it's Ok.. You have left so much of youself with us, your in our memories, your art and the music you left behind. A gift for all of us here and for those who come along in the future times. I will miss hearing you play your piano on the weekends and not having it beautifully permeating the air and travelling through the car park to my window. It was the sound of a time gone by, when so many houses emitted this haunting tone while people played to relax them from their days. It really warmed my heart to wander out to the garden or potter around the house with the tinkling of the piano in the background...

Your music will be floating into space forever, every sound from earth leaves the planet and continues into the universe for eternity, and that is a fact....... I only recently found out that you were only taught the organ as a child, what a talent to have no formal piano training and teach yourself ... No training   required with a gifted musician such as yourself and I don't think I ever saw you use sheet music...Thank you for these gifts for all future generations to discover on the internet via youtube... The life of a creative artist can be difficult and sometimes your life left you struggling, but struggle no more Terry and play on while you fly to the stars...

There was never a time that we saw each other that you didn't say how much you loved me singing the song "IF"... and you proudly told me how you had added it to your google account and wrote how much you loved it.. I promise I will do as you wanted me to do and get back into my singing.. Fly free now hon and forget about the pain and suffering. Thank you again for the CD of you playing the piano, your debut album, "Hippo Beautiful".  I am so grateful that I will have it on those days when I again want to here your beautiful Piano playing in the background of my day...Rest In Peace Terry Bourke..xxx

Thursday, September 17, 2015

WATER.

Long ago now,
The days of our want for water.
Cracked earth parched begging wet mercy,
Clouds passing offering burlesque.

Days travelled fearing worst outcome,
Sharp at both ends of the stick.
Wishing for thunders clap,
Suspense filled fear takes hold.

Preservation timed showers,
Gardens left dying for hose.
River without liquid to waste,
City thirsty for dam quenching future.

Planning with desperate haste,
Fearing the worst brought us there.
Grey sky legion with no time to waste,
Saviour came rushing down drains.

More of the same brings gradual change,
Giving the promise of green.
Tables turn sweetly as surely they do,
Count all the years as they pass.

Fated promise of things to come,
Monsoon brings reverse of the tide.
Heaven Bursting with tears unrelenting,
Torrential clouds inundate us to hell.

Snakelike waterway swollen with drink,
Heaves under pressure then breaks.
Gushing elements and people on flight,
Scurry to save and engulf.

Eerie silence interrupted by car alarms,
Slowly the takeover begins its grip.
Desolate wastelands of waterlogged hope,
Nature claims back what we took.

Failed recognition of where we all stand,
Teach us the lessons we're tought.
Force of distruction seeks our revenge,
And warriors of mud lend their hands.

Dust settles on sun rise and sun set,
Calm returns and hope surrounds.

Mixed blessing is the gift we call water.



Copyright (c) Robyn Whittaker. 2011.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Broken Heartless

What becomes of the broken heartless, weaving thier way to your broken dreams. Fancy free footed, feeling well healed. Flightless game hearts are eaten, consumed at every meal. Traps for fools wanting beliefs, loves tormentor gains easy access and removes your every door. A key to the lock that seems to fit, is given away freely and all at once he has his way. Told of tales of false found desire, desires to brighten your day. Antisipating needs that lighten your low, dark seated highs brings only cloak-giver. Cold deficiet hands and butler serves crow, plate up sour meal of twisted black carcus. Place it up on table, pressed linen and refined silver dreams. Seated alone in desert with desert flowers, while the dream is lost at sea. He won't be there to save you, his serving days are done. Next ship for him is ariving and where there was two now there is one. Wine poured in glass has soured, the taste is of times yet to come. The glass bought with love now is poisoned, and the flowers in vase start to rot. If love was a lie when it started, the truth finally lies in its end. All of your efforts to save it, Some broken hearts never mend. The oddest of couples are left wanting, and their bark is falling from trees. So what you gave you give away, and what you take you took today. Copyright (c) Robyn Whittaker 2013.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

The Culture Of Death

As observations go this one is possibly going to hit some of you with a big "Yeah Whatever, who cares" factor attached to it, but you should be concerned. Why is our society so heavily immersing itself in the topic of death? Every year our TV screens are collecting an ever increasing amount of death wallowing murder mystery shows that sometimes even subtly celebrate the criminal ability. At this rate all we will be viewing soon is weight loss self loathing and hollow headed look at me reality TV, murder mysteries, game shows and just enough children’s viewing time slots to make it permissible for a network to continue without confrontation. News and documentaries fill the other gaps and with the ever biased news networks ensuring we predominantly receive terror based run for the hills reporting, one need not turn to CSI for a daily dose of fear. We are sometimes told that our thoughts can create our reality and I wonder if the push to fill our down times with this sort of TV viewing is possibly why we are heading down a path of no return.

The powers that be, especially the ones who come to dictate to other countries the meaning of terrorism, have in my opinion an agenda for mass fear based living. Australians in the past have recoiled in embarrassment at what we perceived as our unsophisticated cultural behaviour and raced at all costs to emulate a culture that promised us what we thought we needed. Unhealthy excess in all forms has arrived here in the last 30 years and in many ways some of us have come to realize the pitfalls of the imperialistic con we have been sold. Now in many ways we seem like just an out-post for a country that has imported a way of life that seems very obsessed with death and a lifestyle that ensures its speedy arrival.

And while on the topic of observation, why are we are all of a sudden being bombarded with life insurance advertising? Or should it be death insurance advertising? This is more fear mongering on a constant basis, brain washing us into the terror machine of death and the “what ifs” that surround it. Why at this juncture of history is it so important to pile money into these agencies that promise to save your family from destruction if you pass away suddenly? It was only about 12 years ago that I noticed the start of proactive advertising about funeral insurance from one or two companies and now every second ad is encouraging us to ensure our life against death, imploring us to realize the error of not addressing this pitfall. It's just a thought, but how would you make heaps of money out of the masses with insider trading information that only those in powerful positions know about, that involves taking money off people for insurance that their families may not ever be able to collect? Let's hope that what is on the way is not the answer to the cultural reality in question.

Copyright © Robyn Whittaker. 2012

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Personal Declaration.

I am going to give it my best effort to do what I have to do in life to make me happy while

remembering to help others to feel happy as well.

I will try to not concern myself with what others think about what I am doing or whether or not they agree and just focus on the fact that what I am doing is worthwhile.

As long as what I am doing is legal, safe and harmless to myself and others, it is OK and in no need of validation by anyone but myself.

A gift to myself and If others gain joy from what I do, that is just a bonus.

I will also ensure I take time to enjoy the beauty that others create in this world without forgetting to stop to admire their roses as well.


Copyright (C) Robyn Whittaker. 2012.

A BOOK CALLED FACE.

Are we all becoming a legion of social networking followers that have been seduced by the promise of constant feedback on our every thought and action on a daily basis? In our quest to connect through wires, keyboards and screens I wonder if we are losing some of the opportunities for face to face interaction and old fashioned togetherness. The temptation to neglect physical interactions may take over for some, owing to a lack of necessity, if too much time is spent Internet sharing what was once saved for our get together conversations. So many of us over share to the point that when we do meet up there is little left to tell and what is left to say when all has been said. It becomes just a rehash of the news that was reported in an update an hour before we meet. And though it does give us a thrill that the other already knows about our news, it is like constantly feeding information into our own personal gossip rag while totally disregarding the virtues that come from keeping a little bit of mystery.

After a few years of passionate input and over sharing, I have found myself avoiding this medium in favour of internalized reflection. Maybe like others who I have heard are curbing these activities, my online presence is evolving. It is easy see how one can be seduced into the desire to over share when receiving the almost instant gratification of being noticed, liked and loved. I think back to words I have written and the words of others I have read and it becomes clear that some of our statements are deliberately reaction based. A rush of satisfaction that someone somewhere at any given time liked or commented on something we felt was in need of notice. It is indeed obvious that some are more addicted to this feedback than others. Everyone wants to be understood and we all have a yearning to belong to a group that shares our hopes and dreams while sharing togetherness.

We hear of the rules recommended with this sort of online interaction and some of us adhere to them and follow. I engaged in this world with a healthy dose of caution at first, but in time the waters felt safer. I dared to swim with little regard for the sharks that bite with lexicon and found that some of the followers were not really friends and are just there to feed off your story. It is indeed a dangerous endeavour to make public what in any other age would have been left unsaid unless in the audience of family and confidante close friends. In any arena it is wise to remember the pitfalls that can come from not guarding our private cards and keeping them close to the chest. Because honesty is good but not always your friend and though it can be fun, it is wise to remember that life online is also based on the game.


Copyright © Robyn Whittaker. 2012.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

A LOVE THAT DOES SPEAK ITS NAME

As another year begins we dust off our hopes and dreams and sprinkle them with just enough faith to get us through the rest of it. Some great achievements were realized last year amongst our crew, individually and collectively, and now we are one more step closer to equality. Civil unions for our community in Queensland are now a reality and though it is one step toward a goal, it will only be a matter of time before we are granted the right to legally marry the ones we love in all areas of this country. It is a tide that will not turn in the favour of those that wish us to stay behind the pack, begging for the crumbs of a marriage loaf that most have taken for granted for years. One only need exchange the gay community for another minority into the debate about marriage rights, whether it creed or colour of skin, and the bigger picture emerges. It then becomes clear that no other minority would be expected to accept anything less than equal rights and to deny anyone these rights is discrimination in black and white.

When will those in power stop fooling each other that this is not the case and start to face the facts. Just because it is not your personal preference does not mean you have the right to disempower a minority and dictate the terms of their partnerships. Equality is about treating all humans with dignity and respect, providing equal rights for all regardless of sexuality or gender and not about mans ongoing what’s next obsessional fear of burning in hell. Believe what you want to believe and find happiness in what you will, but do not disguise oppression of another in sanctimonious religious beliefs that benefit some, but if sanctioned too heavily ultimately denigrate and legally oppress others.

The sky will not fall if the gay community are granted the right to marry as has been proven in other places in the world. They came to their senses and realized the stupidity and stubbornness of outdated beliefs under pinning laws that hinder the happiness of others, and so too will those holding the keys in this country. The day is coming when it will be impossible to continue with the lie that some are more worthy than others to celebrate and legally bind their love, and the walls will continue to crumble brick by brick until we reach equality.

Apart from everything else, the financial windfall for those counting the coin that is generated from uniting a couple would be incredible and the wedding gift registers alone would surely leave them spinning. They only need consider just how extravagantly some in our community celebrate a big day, and you will witness the whole wedding industry on mass heading to Canberra to heavily lobby the change. A change that will bring equality for those with a love that does speak its name, who loudly demands the right to register it.


Copyright © Robyn Whittaker. 2011.

Friday, December 16, 2011

THE ORCHARD OF HAPPY FRUIT.

For the first time in my whole life, I can actually say with all honesty I am starting to understand what happiness is in all its glory and I am learning daily the skills and the art of keeping it. I have suffered over the years with many bouts of depression and a feeling of unhappy hopelessness and have only recently re-emerged from my last sojourn into that land of barren dry and desolate despair, constantly covered with dark clouds that tease with promise of release but void of replenishing rains. Part of the secret to finding, keeping and building your inner happy, is giving it freely to others, because what you give out comes back to you in time. Every seed of this type with the water of your hope filled tears will grow, maybe not as quick as you want to see these results, but grow it will. And in time from those desolate plains of barren earth you will produce a tree filled with the fruits of your love, and those that deserve your fruit will sit with you and enjoy the offerings of your happiness. Before you know it, those around you will see your tree and want to plant one too and so on and so on until the desert that once surrounded you will transform into an orchard for the family and friends you love.

Don't get me wrong, part of this process is learning who to keep and who to leave well alone, to go off and walk their path with or without you. You can only try and be there for people, if they aren’t right for you and grate on your happy nerve, send them packing to find their own plot of land and learn to till its soil.

Too many times I was on auto pilot being Miss Florence Nightingale helping anyone and everyone all the while forgetting that to really be effective in helping and supporting others, you first need to help yourself and love your self unconditionally and be your own best friend. It has taken me a long time to put all of those pieces together and we never stop learning and like all human beings, I also am not perfect. The only way to rise above those less than wise choices both from the past or new ones on the way, is to never live in regret over them and just try to accept that we are the end result of every choice we make and can always try to do better next time.


Copyright © Robyn Whittaker. 2011.

TAKING YOUR POWER BACK!

What does it mean to be free in a world that is increasingly becoming a policed existence, of moral judgment chosen for the many by the ruling few? How many of our civil liberties will fall by the wayside in the quest to placate perceived government desire to safeguard us against the terror from out there. We all know deep in our soul’s right from wrong, but for the growing majority we look to others to be our guide and compass on how to live and what to do. Continually being fed a diet of lies and deceit, prevents most from waking from a dream state wonder lust for a lifestyle that for many will always be out of reach. Every day we rise from our beds and prepare ourselves for the treadmill that is our life, never questioning the state of play that has left many of us in debt and in a constant state of trying to catch up. Unless you have been lucky enough to win big or come from old money, your chances of getting ahead are slim, and that is just the way the powers that be want it to stay.

Yes I do believe in positive values and thoughts and I know all too well that they can indeed get you far, but I am also a realist and it would be remiss of me to act like an ostrich in this world of plenty for only the few. It is becoming apparent to me that things are not quite as they seem and if we are to bring about a change for the better, we must resist the constant Schism we are fed. Schism for those who are unaware is the negative energy that is created by those in power to keep us trapped in a state of fear and terror. Every other day another show about crime and murder hits our TV screens. Doctored media teamed with the constant rolling coverage of bad news we are encouraged to consume on a daily basis, all create Schism. Have you noticed that the ones that have appointed themselves to protect our world are also the ones feeding this negative machine?

Change your treadmill and refuse to be a part of the status quo you have been sold and stop being a slave to the ones who wish to control you. Go to work and live your life while focusing on good thoughts and feelings, and if getting that thing you think will make you happy leaves you trapped in repayment hell, leave it on the shelf. Watch the box selectively and the entertainment it brings, remembering its purpose is to sell you a life you are told you need as well as the food you are encouraged to buy for the families you feed.

You are beautiful beings and more so for being born into this wonderful LGBT community, a community that has taken pride in being different from the rest. Choose a calmer life and beware of the deliberate energy trap called stress and take your power back.

Copyright (c) Robyn Whittaker 2011.

Friday, July 29, 2011

DON'T WORRY!


For the first time in my whole life, I can actually say with all honesty I am starting to understand what happiness is in all it's glory and am learning daily the skills and the art of keeping it.. I have suffered over the years with many bouts of depression and a feeling of unhappy hopelessness and am only recently re-emerged from my last sojourn into that land of barren dry and desolate despair, constantly covered with dark clouds that tease with promise of release but void of replenishing rains. Part of the secret to finding, keeping and building your inner happy, is giving it freely to others, because what you give out comes back to you in time. Every seed of this type with the water of your hope filled tears will grow, maybe not as quick as you want to see these results, but grow it will. And in time from those desolate plains of barren earth you will produce a tree filled with the fruits of your love, and those that deserve your fruit will sit with you and enjoy the food of your joy. Before you know it, those around you will see your tree and want to plant one too and so on and so on until the desert that once surrounded you will transform into an orchard for the family and friends you love.


Don't get me wrong, part of this process is learning who to keep and who to leave well alone...to go off and find their own path with or without you, you can only try and be there for people, if they ain't right and grate on your happy nerve, send them packing to work it out for themselves and find their own plot of land and learn to till it's soil.


Too many times I was on auto pilot being miss Florence Nightingale helping anyone and everyone all the while forgetting that to really be effective in helping and supporting others, you first need to help yourself and love your self unconditionally and be your own best friend....It has taken me a long time to put all of those pieces together and hey I am not perfect, we never stop learning and of course like all us human beings...I make mistakes. The only way to rise above those less than wise choices either from the past or new ones on the way, that will I never regret because they all brought me to who I am today.....Is to just pick yourself up, brush yourself off and try to do better next time.


Everyday is a new day and an opportunity to create a better you and a better world. We all have a choice, go with change freely and embrace it or stay stuck in old thoughts, ways and regrets. I choose now to leave the past where it is and make an effort to live in the moment. Nothing will change the past, but we can change the future. Worrying is worthless and finally I am learning to let go of this useless thought process...worrying about things will not change them, it will only make the situation worse, distort your aura and create illness. I used to be so locked up with worry, I grew up with a father who was a worrier, and would worry sometimes if he did not have something to worry about....I say that with the up most of respect for him please be assured, he was one of my teachers/best friend and I adore him and so miss him now that he has passed on. Before he died he said to me almost in a desperate voice while holding my hand...Don't Worry! He died in 2006 and I have experienced post traumatic stress owing to the terror of watching cancer take away my friend, as his main carer it shook me to the core and took a toll on my mind and filled it with sorrow and fear. Part of the problem was also the old issues I had thought were dealt with regarding my childhood and my dad and his illness and the stress surrounding it brought up so many things that I was incapable of dealing with at that time, especially considering I had thought I already had. I am getting therapy for this currently and feel that the trauma from this and my childhood is starting to unlock from my soul...But you know what? The best part is ...I finally get it and what he was trying so desperately to warn me about in his desperate desire to help his child avoid what he realised at the end, contributes to dis-ease, thank you so much dad for this...Only in the last few recent weeks I can hear is voice echo those words of desperate warning, and now after all this time, I have finally heard those words fully and understand exactly what they mean and released the need to worry.


I reject worries out of my mind when they try to re-invade my thoughts, and let things and time take care of themselves, because worrying does nothing to change whatever it is of concern.... Just do what you have to, to change or improve what is causing you to begin to stress or at least make small steps toward that end goal...Everything happens in the perfect time and if you trust in the process of time and that it is happening exactly how it is meant to....you no longer feel the need to worry.


Every day now I thank my father and the many other teachers in my life. There are too many to name here, Louise Hay was one that helped me turn on my light and I will be forever gratefull to her for this, but a very special and precious teacher in particular is my beautiful mother. The pearls of wisdom that pour from her mind and then her mouth could fill an ocean with wisdom. Mum you are so very special and you know how lost I would be if it were not for you, you are my guiding light and a compass that helps me find my way, finally I am putting your advice into practice and though I still wander from the path you recommend, know that I am doing my best to follow your lead.

My siblings have taught me so much as well, as have the beautiful offspring they have given our family and world. Marilyn you are a natural teacher and it has always struck me as something quite magical and interesting that the first and the last child from our family are both dedicated to the love of seeking and imparting wisdom. My version of it is without a degree and as we both know I have shown also a talent for being easily distracted, whilst you were a master of working towards the goal that brought you to your graduation and in my minds eye I still remember the day, albiet I was very young! lol. I have always been in awe of how you seem to effortlessly understand those steps needed to complete your school work and focus until the assignment and task reaches fruition. We had different styles of intelegence and possibly A.D.D or maybe my lack of attention span and the land of gender change, led me to the school of the world, but in the end we are both in love with teaching.

Renee, I hope you know how special you are to me, and how grateful I am to you for giving me the opportunity to love and care for you as I always was wanted to but my life and life in general got in our way. You have taught me many things as well and I cherish the connection we now have. You were the one I grew up with and spent the most time with as a child. I adore you and am so sorry for any lost time we have experienced for one reason or another. You are a strong incredible woman with five beautiful children, and now they have children as well. Never forget what a truely amazing effort you have put into raising these gorgeous human beings, and especially the fact that you succeeded doing this through adversity. I miss you and us as kids, just playing and yes sometimes fighting lol, but through it all we survived and thankfully we are now closer than ever. Cut out dolls, mums pattern tin, tea parties with Terrina, or just dreaming our own dreams while watching a glamoures movie, pretending we were that beautiful actress in an old movie on the sunday TV matinee. So many special memories and I will treasure them always and even though you are my big sister..(well only by 3 years. lol) I will love you and look after you until the end. I know things get muddled up sometimes but I know that we are going to be ok from now on and feel a sense that we have helped our loved ones find peace. Thankyou for your open hearted love.

I thank dad everyday for the gift of those last words he spoke to me and I now feel a freedom I have never experienced before. Live your life, show gratitude for it and everything that is in it and strive to be happy...And most of all Don't worry, whatever happens happens, try to guide your life positively when and where ever you can, but remember, worrying will only make things worse and drain and take away from your joy.


Copyright (c) Robyn Whittaker. 2011.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

PRECIOUS GEM

Joy is the gift you give with love,
With voice to soothe the soul.

The musical girl with style and grace,
Sings from the heart with golden glow.

You are a precious gem on earth,
The gods created a goddess.

Thanks for the hope you gave my soul,
Thanks for the sparkle imparted.

And if ever you’re feeling sad and blue,
Remember the hearts you've touched,

I will never forget that special night,
When all my woes seemed mended.

All thanks to a girl with a beautiful heart,
Whose voice mends hearts that are broken.





Copyright (c) Robyn Whittaker. 2011