Beautiful Miss Conception.

What do I write when all has been said, I am not who I thought I would be. I am broken and I need the toy maker to mend me. What do we do when we realise that we are who we are far beyond repair and repose. I continue to hope for grander days filled with love and what I thought was mine to demand. Something worth similar to gold yet privately of my own valuation that instantly was seen and documented as an appraisal worthy of judgement. Yet it eludes me, and I am torn between the realisation that I have myself to blame and the reality that the ones that I choose will never give me the price I am worth. Why are we destined to continue and repeat the mistakes of our examples, the parents that brought us into this world, leaving us with a legacy that sometimes we wish we could escape. If only life was a simple as a guide book for dummies, we would surely excel and escape our traps and go forth and prosper. I once believed in love, I believe in love for the self while imparting love to others, but in this day and age they are not taught to give, only take. How does one find love with these values? I am sure there are a few who are different from this and I would hate to paint all with the same brush. Our hopes lay with the collective that still hold dear to the morals and manners of a past era. The ones that know that to gain the most we must first give of ourselves in a manner that is selfless to the point of no return. I see so many now that are determined to make front page at any cost and to hell with the consequences and who it hurts in the process. Does it matter who we hurt in our quest to gain what we want for ourselves? Yes it does, because the one we hurt the most is ourselves when we choose this path. When did we stop teaching our children that what we give out we get back? How can you bring up a child to destroy itself by slowly chipping away at its own virtues through another. I am so saddened by what I see and in spite of it I still believe we will go back to better times. It is inevitable that not unlike the obesity epidemic that is embracing the human race, we will be forced to see the error of our ways. The Titanic went down and they were forced to learn from those mistakes and this evolution of selfishness will also find the bottom of its ocean. We will in time see that everything has a price and everything finds its centre and whether we like it or not survival is an instinct the human race cannot escape. D day is upon us and we wish we still had time to evaluate the bullshit we have scattered over the earth, but time is not something of which we can waste any longer. Wake up from your collective dream states and rise up and save your children or even just yourselves if progeny is not your concern. You do not have to continue with the lie that all is OK and will continue UN-abated without recompense because our penance is coming in force. I will go to my grave knowing that I tried to help my fellow man and loved my inner desire to improve the position of others. I also will go to my grave regretting a few things that I allowed myself to fall prey to, including jealousy, anger and misguided pride. I fear that we may never learn what we need to know right now and though many are trying to warn us, few are listening. What an amazing yet incredibly stupid race we are, to have so much beauty at our finger tips and as much destruction as our legacy left in our wake. If all is lost we are and will always be a beautiful miss conception on our creators conscience, and that is not from a religious stand point. Who or what ever created us, must stand in awe of our ability to do the worst thing imaginable to something that I am sure could and can only ever be seen as a gift. A blue shining gem spinning in space and time, that for a split second in the scheme of things was a hope full bequeath to a human race that does not know what it does. Robyn Whittaker. copyright (c) 2011